A Conscious Birth Summit was held this weekend at the downtown library, that I agreed to come and share our home-birth story at. I only came in time to hear the home-birth portion of the event, although it was a day long event with several speakers and a plethora of information regarding birth options.
I had formulated in my head what I wanted to say, but getting on a microphone is always a tad bit intimidating. So, I'm not sure if anyone benefited from my jumbled thoughts or not. It was hard to articulate and consolidate all my thoughts and feelings into a brief talk. Speaking to a crowd did, however, solidify that home-birth has become a passion of mine. Mostly because it's so closely intertwined with my passion of being a mother. When the idea of having a home-birth came to me I felt so strongly about it, that I knew it was something I had to do. I'm not sure that I've ever felt so strongly about something that was all my own. I'm usually a compliant person and I don't like to stir the pot so to speak. Yet, it was a decision that I made that couldn't be swayed no matter how strongly people were opposed to the idea.
What I desperately wanted to communicate to other women is how empowering this experience was for me, and the level of confidence it has given me as a mother. To trust my maternal instincts. Do you have to have a home-birth to be a confident mother? No, of course not. But, for some reason I did. Being a mother in this information-overload age has it's challenges. For instance, I read every birth book imaginable before my first birth, and attended Bradley birthing classes (which is a lengthy and exhaustive 10 week course). I had ALL the information, yet I didn't do one very important thing- and that was rely on MY intuition as a mother.
The moment the hospital decided to induce my labor during my first birth was when I threw out my intuition and felt like putty in their hands. I actually agreed to let them induce me with a drug called Cytotec which come to find out is a dangerous drug and has caused many maternal deaths. I had even done the research and had read of the dangers of the drug. Yet, I trusted that the "experts" knew what was best instead of trusting my intuition that the baby wasn't ready to come out and would when she was ready to. Of course when you're in a high-stress situation you'll take the advice of the professionals instead of trusting your intuition. There were some militant-type voices at the Birthing Summit that were very anti-hospital. I am diplomatic in nature, and was glad that I stated there are certainly times for medical intervention, and it is important to be with a certified midwife who will take action when a person needs to be transported to the hospital. I'm not anti-hospital. I just don't think birthing a baby 90 percent of the time should or has to be a medical event. Or that babies should be forced to come out when they're not ready.
Not to say doing research etc. isn't good because there are very important tools that can and do help. But, I would say listen to your instincts and intuition. The home-birth empowered me to say God created me to be a mother and my body to birth a baby. He was with me. I knew from a young age that I wanted to be a mother. Yet when it happened I felt so ill-equipped to do the job. There's this idea that gets stuck in our heads that other mothers have it all figured out. I would get so frustrated because there wasn't a manual or any parenting book that perfectly described my child, in my situation. I just wanted to pick up a book that had the steps clearly laid out for what to do. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it! I just needed to trust that loving my children is what they needed. I didn't need to get tripped up with the details or what worked for another mother.
I had formulated in my head what I wanted to say, but getting on a microphone is always a tad bit intimidating. So, I'm not sure if anyone benefited from my jumbled thoughts or not. It was hard to articulate and consolidate all my thoughts and feelings into a brief talk. Speaking to a crowd did, however, solidify that home-birth has become a passion of mine. Mostly because it's so closely intertwined with my passion of being a mother. When the idea of having a home-birth came to me I felt so strongly about it, that I knew it was something I had to do. I'm not sure that I've ever felt so strongly about something that was all my own. I'm usually a compliant person and I don't like to stir the pot so to speak. Yet, it was a decision that I made that couldn't be swayed no matter how strongly people were opposed to the idea.
What I desperately wanted to communicate to other women is how empowering this experience was for me, and the level of confidence it has given me as a mother. To trust my maternal instincts. Do you have to have a home-birth to be a confident mother? No, of course not. But, for some reason I did. Being a mother in this information-overload age has it's challenges. For instance, I read every birth book imaginable before my first birth, and attended Bradley birthing classes (which is a lengthy and exhaustive 10 week course). I had ALL the information, yet I didn't do one very important thing- and that was rely on MY intuition as a mother.
The moment the hospital decided to induce my labor during my first birth was when I threw out my intuition and felt like putty in their hands. I actually agreed to let them induce me with a drug called Cytotec which come to find out is a dangerous drug and has caused many maternal deaths. I had even done the research and had read of the dangers of the drug. Yet, I trusted that the "experts" knew what was best instead of trusting my intuition that the baby wasn't ready to come out and would when she was ready to. Of course when you're in a high-stress situation you'll take the advice of the professionals instead of trusting your intuition. There were some militant-type voices at the Birthing Summit that were very anti-hospital. I am diplomatic in nature, and was glad that I stated there are certainly times for medical intervention, and it is important to be with a certified midwife who will take action when a person needs to be transported to the hospital. I'm not anti-hospital. I just don't think birthing a baby 90 percent of the time should or has to be a medical event. Or that babies should be forced to come out when they're not ready.
Not to say doing research etc. isn't good because there are very important tools that can and do help. But, I would say listen to your instincts and intuition. The home-birth empowered me to say God created me to be a mother and my body to birth a baby. He was with me. I knew from a young age that I wanted to be a mother. Yet when it happened I felt so ill-equipped to do the job. There's this idea that gets stuck in our heads that other mothers have it all figured out. I would get so frustrated because there wasn't a manual or any parenting book that perfectly described my child, in my situation. I just wanted to pick up a book that had the steps clearly laid out for what to do. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it! I just needed to trust that loving my children is what they needed. I didn't need to get tripped up with the details or what worked for another mother.
Also, I wanted to go to this Birth Summit to give a voice to that woman who doesn't fit the sterotypical home-birth mother role. You know the ones I'm talking about, the crunchy granola types with the dyed blue dreadlocks, who are heavily pierced & tattooed. I certainly have my crunchy hippie tendencies, but I'm fairly mainstream albeit drifting towards the right. All this to say that home-birth isn't only for certain types of people. I'm still convinced that this is not for everyone. You must feel compelled to want to do this, and feel like it will be beneficial for you and your family. But, I did hear a lot of women talk about feelings of disappointment after their hospital births- very similar to the way I felt. I do think fear is the central issue when it comes to birthing a baby because it is a difficult thing to do. But, you can do it. The one thing that frustrates me most is when women tell me, "Oh, I could NEVER do that!" If I can do it, then anyone can. Think of the millions of women who have birthed babies. One of things said at the Birth Summit that stuck out to me that I would like to share is, "Get all the information you can and make choices based on that information." Choices. We do have them. Even in the hospital you do have choices. I just didn't realize that at the time.
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